When I See You
by xX Never a Happy Ending Xx
Summary: When Merlin tells Arthur about his magic it does not go as planed for Merlin ruing the relationship he and Arthur had. When they meet again will they be able to repair what the had. Murthur, no happy ending, character death, reveal fic, pre-established relationship. Rated T to be safe.


**A/N: If my username doesn't say it all this story will not have a happy ending fair warning. This story also contains Merthur so if you don't like it don't read it. **

**Disclaimer****: If Merlin belonged to me Gwen would have left Arthur for Lancelot and he would have then realized his feelings for Merlin but alas no. **

**Stuff in bold is Merlin's thoughts stuff that is normal is Arthur's. **

Today is the day.

**Today's the day. **

I am going to ask him.

**I am going to tell him.**

Here goes everything.

**Here goes nothing.**

"Merlin..."

"Arthur..."

"Sorry, you go first."

"No no after you."

"Are you sure? Ok. Merlin, I love you more than life it's self. Will you do me the honor of becoming my husband and my king?"

"Oh Arthur, I have to tell you something first. I have magic."

Magic. My Merlin has magic. My Merlin has been lying to me.

"Arthur please say something."

"Get out"

"You can't mean that."

"I said get out. Not just this room but I want you to leave Camelot."

"But Arthur I love you and I did it all to protect you."

"No you don't. You have been lying to me the entire time you have known me about magic. You have been lying to me and manipulating me from the start. You are just like everyone else, out for power. And to think I wanted you to marry me. How much of a fool am I?"

"You are wrong Arthur I do love you and would never hurt you but if you wish for me to leave then I will. Goodbye my love."

Please don't leave me.

**Please don't make me leave.**

Did you ever even love me?

**I will always love you.**

Why can't I stop crying?

**Why can't I shed a tear? **

xX 6 Months Later Xx

What is he doing here.

**What am I doing here. **

It feels like a life time since I last saw him.

**I wonder if he still loves me. **

He looks even better than before.

**Why can't I stop starring. **

"Merlin, how are you. Did Guinevere invite you?"

"Yes she did. How does it feel to be a married man. I am sure Gwen will make a wonderful queen. How is she?"

"She is good, we are good."

"That is good."

I would rather be with you.

**He is probably really happy with his new wife. **

I can't look at you with out starting to cry.

**He can't even look at me. **

"I miss you so much."

**You are lying. **

It is scary how much I meant that.

**He could never actually miss me. **

I love you so much it hurts.

**He loves Gwen now. **

"Goodbye Merlin."

"Goodbye Sire."

This is the last time I will get to hold you isn't it?

**He was just hugging me goodbye. **

xX Later That Night Xx

I haven't cried this much since I made him leave.

**The tears finally came. **

I lost him.

**I still love him. **

xX One Week Later Xx

"Sire, news from Ealdor."

"Well what is it?"

Please don't be Merlin. Please let him be OK.

"It's your old manservant Merlin. He was found in his house this morning with his wrists slit and a note addressed to you next to him."

"Give me the note. You are dismissed."

"Yes, Sire."

_Dear Arthur,_

_ Well if you are reading this then I am dead and I guess I should tell you why. Well this is it, I can't do it anymore. Before there was a chance that you would comeback to me but now I know there is no hope. I tried I really did but this past week has been hell and there is no way I will be able to live with this pain. Please be happy for me. Be happy with Gwen and have a big family and don't be like your father. I am so sorry for how our last time together as a couple went. I just want you to know I would never have used my Magic to hurt you or the kingdom. You never let me explain on that day so I guess I should now. So basically I was born with magic. If it was up to me I never would have even thought about magic but I have it and can't change that. My mother sent me to Camelot to protect me but you can see how well that worked. It was my __destiny to protect you so that is what I did. I only used my magic to help you, I swear it on my fathers grave. I am also a dragon lord like my father was. Your father is the main reason I did not you about my magic. If he would have figured me out you would not have been involved. Don't ever think I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you because I trust you with my soul and my heart. Don't be like Uther and hate magic accept it, learn from your mistake with me. Just so you know, when you asked me to marry you I would have said yes and that was the happiest moment of my life. I still love you Arthur, I always will. I will watch over you and protect you in the afterlife. Keep my heart safe because even in death it is yours._

_ With all of my love,_

_ Merlin_

__Merlin why would you do this. I will join you Merlin, I will join you as soon as I know the kingdom will be safe.

xX 22 years later Xx

"Baearth, son, today you are 21 and I am sure you are going to make a wonderful king."

"Thank you Father, but that won't be for many years."

"Yes, many years but I have faith in the future of this kingdom."

I'm coming to you Merlin I am coming my love. I am just one vial away.


End file.
